That feeling

Over the past week, I have come to the realization of the importance of being active. For me. I am what some might call, addicted to exercising. In a good way. I find myself stressing, especially this past week, over the miles I didn't run, or the miles I didn't put on my bike, or how I haven't even touched my swim gear in two weeks. It is driving me crazy.

My schedule has been so out of wack, and I have been having a hard time changing MY sleeping pattern to get my butt out of bed in the morning to run a few miles. All while knowing that when I get home at 5 o'clock I am NOT going to want to venture out in the 90+ degree weather with the sun attempting to burn my poor shoulders and give my that wonderful raccoon look on my face from my shades.

I love the feeling after a NICE 3 mile run as well as the feeling after a hard 3 mile run. I love the feeling after 8+ mile struggle on the bike with the wind coming from all directions, except from the back. The wind is never behind me giving me that extra push. I love the feeling that leaves your legs shaking with exhaust when you jump off your bike and attempt to walk. I love the feeling of getting in the pool, when you know it is 90+ degrees outside, and you are submerged in a cool pool. The feeling after you do a lap and are sometimes so winded you don't know how you are going to do 8 or more. The feeling of accomplishment after completing 8 laps and then pulling yourself out of the pool and feeling complete exhaustion, as if you had just worked your body harder than you ever had before in the pool. The feeling that your body has reached a point of starvation becuase you had work pretty much every muscle in your body to a point of fatigue in that darn pool.

But....

I don't like the feeling of not being able to get out there and do any of those things. I don't like those days where you just can't seem to fit in that run. I know for a fact that if I am able to get my butt out of bed at 5:30 in the morning to do a few miles, I will be able to go the rest of the day without feeling guilty, feeling as if I cheated myself and my body, and feeling as if I DID accomplish something today. I don't like that feeling when I look at my training log and realized that I haven't been on my bike for over 2 weeks. Or I haven't swam in a week+.

I realized today, that I am not the only one that has that feeling. That feeling has most definitely turned into an addiction. This is an addiction for me. A good one, I suppose. But, sometimes it consumes my mind. I was reading TriSaraTops entry earlier while catching up on some reading of other blogs and I knew exactly what she was talking about. It was soo true. So true.

As for today, I didn't like the feeling that I couldn't get out of bed this morning to run 3 miles, even though it was a perfect 59 degrees outside with no rain (like yesterday). But, I am planning on hitting up the gym at 4 after class, hoping to run those three miles I didn't do this morning. And maybe...just maybe I will like that feeling so much that I will go further. Further than three miles.

Happy runnings, y'all!